Coaching Basics

Awareness & Understanding

Start by understanding what coaching actually is — and what it isn't. Coaching is about asking questions that help someone discover their own answers, not just telling them what to do. Watch at least two YouTube videos from the channel "Coaching for Leaders" or search "what is coaching vs mentoring" to see the difference. Read a free article from the International Coaching Federation at coachingfederation.org about the core competencies of a coach. Think of one person in your life who helped you improve a skill by asking the right question instead of giving you the answer. You're ready for the next step when you can explain the difference between coaching and mentoring in your own words.

Research & Investigation

Research specific coaching techniques used in real settings. Look up the GROW model — Goal, Reality, Options, Will — which is one of the most widely used coaching frameworks. Khan Academy has free videos on communication and active listening that apply directly to coaching. Search YouTube for "coaching conversation example" to watch how experienced coaches ask questions without leading the person. Take notes on at least three specific questions a coach might ask and three things a coach avoids doing. You're ready for the next step when you can walk through all four stages of the GROW model and give one example question for each stage.

Planning & Preparation

Plan your first real coaching conversation. Choose someone you already have a relationship with — a younger sibling, a teammate, or a friend working on a goal. Ask their permission to try a short coaching conversation with them. Write out five open-ended questions you might use, based on the GROW model. Practice asking those questions out loud to yourself or to a mirror so they feel natural. Set a time and place for a 15-to-20-minute conversation. You're ready for the next step when you have a scheduled coaching conversation, five prepared questions, and have practiced delivering them once.

Taking Action

Have your first coaching conversation. Focus on listening more than talking — aim for the other person to speak at least 70 percent of the time. Use your prepared questions but follow the conversation wherever it goes. Resist the urge to give advice or share your own story. Immediately after, write down what you noticed: when the person got more energized, which questions opened things up, and which ones fell flat. Ask the person for one sentence of feedback on how it felt to be coached. You're ready for the next step when you have completed one full coaching conversation and written a reflection with at least three specific observations.

Leadership & Expansion

Take your coaching skills into a structured setting. Offer to run a short coaching session for a group — a team meeting, a class, a youth group, or a sports team. You might facilitate a group goal-setting exercise using the GROW model, or coach one person in front of a small audience and then debrief together. Look into free peer coaching programs run by local universities like the University of Utah's David Eccles School of Business, which sometimes offers community programs. You're ready for the next step when you have led at least one group coaching activity and received written or spoken feedback from participants.

Impact & Reflection

Measure your growth as a coach and document what you've learned. Compare your first coaching conversation reflection to your most recent one — what changed in your questions, your listening, your comfort level? Ask the person or group you coached most recently whether they moved closer to their goal. Write a one-page "coaching playbook" that captures your go-to questions, your biggest lessons, and your personal coaching style. Share it with someone who wants to learn coaching skills. You're ready for the next step when you can articulate three specific ways your coaching improved over this quest and hand your playbook to someone who uses it.